One Down, Four to Go?

Well, I finally did what I'd been talking about for a week or me: I withdrew myself from the cathedral curacy search I was in. I decided to bail after I realized what a really good interview for a church job could be. The two priest I spoke with in Philadelphia got me really excited about what they do and what I could do, and both of them struck me as people I wanted to be mentored to and learn with. I would also be entrusted with more responsibility in either of these jobs. I ended up with four second-round interviews from Philly and other places on the east coast, which seems like a lot.

Then we got here, and I remembered how I don't really like worship in a cathedral. It is weird and alien to me. My goal in life is to never have to wear a surplice. (For one, I once almost passed out in one in a hot summer in Pennsylvania.) Also, if I could go without owning a tippet, that'd be great. I'll put my girl scout badges on something else. (Obviously there are some cathedrals that are a lot more low-key than this one we're at, but still.)

It feels really, really nerve-wracking to be withdrawing from a search for a job I know I could and would do well. I have a sense of great scarcity -- what if this was the only job I end up getting?? And I just said "thanks but no"?!? It's pretty scary.

But ... I do feel like I've done the right thing. Had I been called to go out to the Midwestern Cathedral for another round of interviewing, I really wouldn't have known how to fit it into my schedule. (BTW, these people were my first first-round interview, and STILL haven't even told us who they want to come back for another round.) And both my spiritual director and supervisor were puzzled that I was applying for a job like this that would really limit what I got to do. In the end, I feel a little lighter having shed this particular bundle of worry.

Phew!